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Slightly Longer Funny Shorts

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything."
The vendor gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill.
After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"
The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

Funny Shorts A young monk joins a monastery and is told he must take a vow of silence,
but as repayment he will be allowed to speak two words every ten years.
Ten years pass and the head monk asks him if he has anything to say.
To which he replies:
"Bed Hard".
The senior monk nods and sends him on his way.
Another ten years later he goes before the head monk and says:
"Food Cold".
Again, the head monk nods and sends him on his way.
And yet another ten years later: "I Quit".
"Well" said the senior monk "I can't say that I'm surprised, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

A chicken walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink.
He notices a man sitting next to him and asks him what's his name.
The man replies: "Bond, James Bond."
The man then asks the chicken "What's your name?"
He replies: "Ken, Chick Ken."

Two electric windmills are standing in a field.
One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?"
The second one replies "Oh, well, you know I'm a huge metal fan".

"What should we name this new type of advertising sign"?
Phil: "How about a philboard?"
Bill: "Hmm, I have a better idea!"

Why did the Irishman have only 239 beans in his soup?
Because one more and it would've been too farty!

Two muffins are baking in the oven.
One says to the other "It sure is hot in here".
The other shouts "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Living the good life in Southeast Alabama, father, grandfather, cancer survivor, part-time writer, and webmaster - Read More

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